How to Overcome Performance Anxiety
Performance anxiety is most commonly experienced as a fear of public speaking and occurs more commonly than we think. Any activity that requires an individual to bring themselves in front of an audience no matter how large or small can experience performance anxiety or otherwise known as stage fright. In this blog, I will share my on stage experiences and how I cope with stage fright even to date!
My first time performing in front of a live audience was when I was in 2nd year pharmacy and was asked to play a couple songs for the Faculty of Medicine's World Aids Day event organized by a friend of a friend on December 1, 2010. Prior to that, I've done many performances and recitals when I went through RCM examinations, and I also sang in front of a sold out audience -- BUT the problem was that all of these "sold out" performances were in my head and I was "performing" in my room in front of my stuffed animals. So when it came to my very FIRST GIG on December 1, I was petrified!!! I remember NOT looking up, making the least eye contact with any breathing soul and telling myself to get over it as quickly as possible. Looking back, I did rather ok for my first time because strangers actually cheered for me but I did everything wrong as a performer. I didn't make any attempt to CONNECT with my audience, I wasn't personable and I was rushing through for the sake of finishing and getting off the stage as quick as possible. Although I am far from being a professional, I would say I have built self confidence and continuously building my stage presence, those few hours leading up to my performance set I am an emotional and anxious wreck on the inside which at times when I allow it to get the best of me, affects my voice control and my hands -- PROBLEM! I AM A PIANO PLAYER AND WHEN MY HANDS SEIZE UP I CAN"T PLAY!!
I've been so lucky and grateful to have met so many local artists and it is very shocking to hear even from the most flawless and confident performers that they still get nervous! I believe I have improved greatly from when I first started performing but I have so much more to learn, to improve on and to control. Here are some of my ways that I've learned to control my stage fright - "FELLOW MUSICIANS - WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR WAYS YOU CONTROL PERFORMANCE ANXIETY?"
1) PRACTICE, PRACTICE PRACTICE
This may seem a given but I learned all too well when I was preparing for all those practical examinations that practice does make well..almost perfect in my case! There's something called muscle memory aka motor learning that involves learning motor tasks and putting it into memory through repetition. So I found that although I was scared sh**tless for each and every one of my dreaded Christmas recitals and exams and my brain would literally forget which notes/keys came next, my fingers as if they had a mind of their own knew where to go strictly because I practiced A LOT (UNDERSTATEMENT). I am also learning that with singing - although I have never formally took vocal lessons, the vocal chord is a muscle and by exercising and practicing my voice will become stronger, and I (or rather my vocal chords) will remember how it "feels" like to transition from chest to head voice. Although you spend hours practicing and it is boring, believe me it pays off!
2) ENVISIONING/VISUALIZATION
As I mentioned earlier I would picture myself playing in front of a sold out audience - although it would be regarded as crazy to some it's actually used by many individuals including Olympic athletes , to control performance anxiety. Before each gig, I literally visualize what I'm going to wear, how I'm going to set up for my set, I visualize myself singing and connecting with my audience at the venue giving my best performance of my lifetime filled with humor, warmth, confidence and intelligence.
3) ENCOURAGE EGO
I tend to be a very shy, humble, self deprecating and hardest critic on myself. Part of the reason why it took me a long time to "come out of my musical shell" is because: a) I never thought I was good enough; b) I couldn't compete with all the talent that exists just within #YEG and; c) who's gonna want to listen to a small Asian girl singing R&B - I won't be able to pull it off?" This ties in with visualization because if I tell myself that I am BAD-ASS, that I am amazing, people love me, I am awesome and the more that I imagine myself being great, the more likely I will achieve it! So Natalia, YOU ARE BAD-ASS!
4) NATALIA, IT"S NOT ALL ABOUT YOU! WORK WITH ANXIETY!
Let me rephrase - what I mean by that is when I get my anxiety attacks I become selfish and think about myself while focusing on getting rid of anxiety rather than acknowledging and controlling it. I always think that the audience (aka THE WORLD) is out to judge, criticize, and laugh at me and my voice (I tend to go through puberty a lot when I get extremely nervous). And that isn't the case at all. What I'm learning now to master my stage fright during performances is to switch my mind set and become entirely immersed and focused on the material - NOT ON MYSELF and TEMPORARILY IGNORE THE AUDIENCE. My material obviously are my songs, the message I want people to walk away with and portray the emotion used to write those songs in the performance and by doing so, I will automatically CONNECT with my audience! So Natalia, stop thinking that the world revolves around you ok?
5) STOP SAYING SORRY & SHAKING YOUR HEAD NATALIA
Have you guys ever seen me play live or even a video of my performances? OMG! I am HORRIBLE for apologizing excessively and doing my head shakes every time I make a mistake or even apologizing for my raspy voice. You have NO idea how many times my friends and even strangers tell me there's no need to apologize or tell people that I'm nervous because: 1) 3/4 of the time no one will notice and if I mention it, it may make my audience nervous and worried about my performance; 2) 98% of the time I AM THE ONLY ONE WHO KNOWS I"VE MESSED UP and sometimes these mistakes may actually sound intentional. Don't give your audience a reason to look for more mistakes and loop-holes!
